The last post..

Ghostwritermummy bit the bullet and went all posh with a new blog and everything! So this is the last post on this site. I’d love it if you would follow me over to the new one (especially if you subscribe over here. All you need to do is point your eyes towards the top right hand corner of the new pad to do it again).

It has been a long weekend but I *think* I finally have the new place looking nice and neat for visitors. There will, of course, be some tweaking going on but for now, I’m done.

For those who want to book mark me for later *ahem*, here is my brand spanking new address:

So, I guess it’s over and out for now. Just having a last look around before I close the doors. See you over there!

*edited: today’s post on the new blog is important. Please take a moment to read and show your support against the government’s ridiculous proposals. Thank you.

Sign of a happy family?

Back when my daughter started nursery at the tender age of 11 months, I was a complete newby mum. I used to send her in pretty dresses, with ribbons in her hair and pristine white socks. As she grew older, she developed a penchant for climbing trees and playing football so the dresses were swapped for jeans and shorts, but she still attended each morning clean and fresh with neat hair.

As she got older and her play became more physical, she started to come home dirtier and dirtier. Once, I arrived to pick her up and saw that she was playing in the garden. I say ‘playing’, but it was more like ‘wallowing’ actually. My daughter and a couple of the other kids were making a dirty version of snow angels. They were lying in the mud and scraping their arms and legs out to the sides to make angels. Oh my.

She was filthy on a daily basis but I was told, and agreed, that the dirtier she was the happier she was as it meant she had been playing and having fun. We’ve never worried about how dirty the kids get- they have a bath every night and we totally believe that the saying is true- dirt= happiness.

The only thing is, does it have to extend to the house too? My daughter loves to quote me on this whole subject.

Me: your room is a tip!

Daughter: that’s because I’ve been having fun!

Hmmm. Since the toddler came along with his projectile vomiting and his boisterous love of digging up plant pots and scattering crumbs everywhere, my house has become a full time job to keep clean and tidy. There have been definite spills (due to blog about this soon!) and stains and hastily relocated rugs to compensate. It sometimes feels as though the house is going to one day give a big sigh and give up completely. If I didn’t know any better, I would swear our home insurance should have a separate clause for ‘child induced wreckage’ or something.

But does it really matter? Ghostwriterdaddy and I are of the thinking now that if the house is clean, the mess doesn’t really matter too much. I recently downloaded a Fly Lady app onto my phone in a bid to become organised and for one whole week it worked. And then the baby got a cold and her sleeping patterns are still all over the place so I’m finding the housework has to be done in bits these days. So my precious home is looking a little bit like… well, like we all have a lot of fun.

My daughter says that a messy home is a sign of a happy family and I think I will just have to agree. An overflowing toy basket is no problem- a child who is scared to drink from a cup in case it spills is. An overflowing washing pile waiting to be put away is not the end of the world- a child who is afraid to have fun in case a mess is made certainly is.

So if you happen to come across my house in real life, please don’t be shocked. I have three children and a husband. We are a happy family.



*sponsored post

A shoulder to cry on

Some time after the toddler was born, I made a promise to him- and to myself- that I would do everything I could with the time I had left to make it all up to him. I needed to let him know that I was deeply, deeply sorry for letting him down when he needed me most. I needed him to know that I was sorry for not being strong enough, for missing that first hour of his life, and for failing to be the mum he needed when he needed it most. He was just a baby. He was barely four months old. He didn’t understand what I was saying and in a way, neither did I. I don’t think I had even begun to accept what had happened during his birth by that point. I certainly wasn’t feeling like a mother to him; I just knew that I was supposed to be feeling it.

Making that promise seemed like the best thing to do and I admit that even today, it weighs heavily on my mind. If  I’m tired, or he’s having a tantrum and my face won’t form a smile… guilt hits me like a bullet then. What about the promise?

When I made that promise I was grieving. Not for a person, but for something… something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.Perhaps I was grieving for that amazing birth I was supposed to have, especially after the first one had gone so wrong? Perhaps I was grieving for that little boy in the delivery room, who’s heart beat fell silent and died in my dreams? Perhaps I was grieving for… for me?

I am not the same person I was before my son was born. In many ways I am a better person. It’s taken me two long years to realise that. In many ways I know so much more about life and love and motherhood. In many ways I can now be that mother I thought I was before he was born. Perhaps I can now stop grieving for that person I was back then and embrace the new me?

These are all things I have been thinking since I left the meeting yesterday. It was the first Manchester Birth Trauma Association meeting and despite being involved in its set-up, I hadn’t actually thought much about how it might affect me. I’d bought a box of tissues, knowing that it could be emotional to talk to people who understand, or even just to talk to people. Caroline bought individual packets of tissues so that we could go home and cry too.

I didn’t cry. But I did think about that promise. I think I’m keeping it. I think I can keep it.


I’m glad to have a shoulder to cry on.

Does that mean I have a normal baby?


I took the little ones to play group today and handed the baby’s red book in to the health visitors for weighing. She was weighed last week, but I’ve been on a bit of a detox (or, not eating lots of rubbish all the time) and I wanted to check that it wasn’t affecting her weight gain. It would be so fantastic awful to have to revert back to a diet filled with whatever I like.
Anyway, we were last in the queue but once I had waited that long I sure as hell wasn’t going to give up. And anyway, it was soon our turn! Yes, everyone else had left but the toddler loves an empty room to run around and I can be stubborn at times.
So the baby is now 10 lb 8! I am astounded. I had just fed her, bit still… that’s 11 ounces in 8 days!
Of course, I panic.
“she seems to be putting weight on really quickly,” I say, hoping I don’t sound too panicky. “its about half a pound a week on average!”
“thats absolutely fine!” The health visitor responds.
She looks curious so I explain that my eldest daughter never really fed much, slept through at 5 weeks and was still only 10 at 6 months. Then my son… he wasn’t thriving at all so by 4 months our consultant had him in formula and baby rice. I think the confusion I’d subconciously come to was:
” I always assumed my breast milk wasn’t all that good…”
“your breast milk is good stuff!” She laughed. “half a pound a week is exactlybwhat we want. It’s.completely normal.”
Um, ok. I’ve got a normal baby then? What does one do with one of those then? I’m used to the extreme. Average is alien to me! From one baby who slept so well, potty trained so early and easily and has never had a tantrum… to one who still doesn’t sleep, regularly has dirty protests and is currently on his 7th tantrum of the day… to now have one that does things by the book?
Goodness, what pressure!

Silent Sunday


Baba and Boo and me

These days, I am a true cloth nappy convert and slowly starting to make my way through several different types and brands of nappies. Everyone has been so helpful in helping me to get to grips with it all and I have to say that I am a firm fan of fluffy bums!

One of the nappy brands that really caught my eye early on is Baba and Boo. The nappies that these guys make are just gorgeous and definitely up there in the style stakes. The lovely Louise sent me a Baba and Boo nappy to try way back in December and has patiently waited ever since for my feed back. The reason I have been so long in my response is because the nappies themselves are only suitable once a baby is of a decent weight. I think officially, that weight is around 8lb but it really depends on your baby. Isobel has really skinny legs so the nappies have only just started to fit her properly. Incidentally, this means that the bigger sizes of Baba and Boo nappies allows for them to be used on much older babies- the toddler has been rocking an animal print himself lately.

Here is Isobel in her giraffe print nappy

How gorgeous is that?

Each Baba and Boo nappy comes with an insert and a booster, which is fantastic if the baby is ready for a long sleep as I know it will hold everything in without leaks. And so far, we’ve had no leaks. The nappies also have poppers which adjust to suit your baby. At the moment we are on the smallest setting so there’s plenty of wear in them yet!

Baba and Boo have some simply beautiful designs over on their site, with some new colours recently added for spring. I love this Blue Bubbles design and the Sweet Candy  is perfect for Isobel. I’ve invested in a few Baba and Boo nappies so far. Along with the giraffe print, we also have the tiger print and I have to say that these are amongst our favourites of all. They’re made from a super soft minky fabric and are just so luxurious- it’s a shame to put clothes over the top! Once Isobel is crawling, I’m going to invest in some babylegs  so that I can show her nappies off!

Overall, Baba and Boo are a fantastic nappy. I would definitely recommend these to anyone wanting to give real nappies a try because they are reasonably priced, beautifully designed and very reliable. Plus, who wouldn’t want a leopard print nappy anyway?

Did you know it is Real Nappy week? For more information, visit

* I received one Baba and Boo nappy for review purposes only, and no monetary payment. The rest of the nappies mentioned in this review have been purchased by myself and these views are entirely my own!

My baby is nine weeks old

How time flies and how little you notice its effects. Until someone points them out to you, that is.

The baby was weighed this week during her 8 week check. She is now a whopping 9lb13! She surprises me. She was the smallest of all three at birth and yet she has gained weight quicker than either of them. Going from 5lb13 at 3 days old, to 6lb8 at ten days is no mean feat! To then go from that to 8lb at 1 month…

Actually, when I think about it, I’m not all that surprised, really. The baby is still feeding on average every 2-3 hours during the day and every 2 hours at night. God bless co-sleeping! Luckily, she settles really well after each feed so I can’t really complain.

It’s amazing how quickly other things become apparent after having a baby too. Like, how rubbish is statutory maternity pay? Yes, I am lucky to get anything at all but seriously- we are scraping the barrel here. I took the option of just statutory as the future of my job is uncertain and I didn’t want to be faced with a huge bill if I was unable to return to work. This way, if I do go back I get a lump sum so it’s something at least.

Which leads me on to another wonderful thing. Friends. And hand me down clothes. We have not bought a single thing for the baby since the going home outfits (which still fit by the way!) because people have been so kind. I’ve done my bit too, I’ve donated clothes to other friends who’ve also recently had babies. But the generosity of others has really astounded me lately- and its not just the baby who has been kitted out, either. The big one and the toddler have also received some amazing items too.

So how do you make the pennies stretch whilst on maternity leave? I’d love some ideas please!

Other highlights at this age for the baby include the fact that she is now really looking at faces and smiling voluntarily. I totally forgot how awesome it feels when your baby smiles at you.

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