Is anybody listening?


It was like screaming into an abyss. It was like breathing deep into my lungs and clawing up the loudest, longest, most primal scream known to man. It was like doing all that, with the volume on mute. They couldn’t hear me. They weren’t listening to me.

I read something recently which pointed out the fact that women felt 100% more empowered during childbirth if they felt they were being listened to. If someone had  spent the time to sit down and listen. Not just nod and say uh-huh, uh-huh…

Listen to me. Hear me when I say I am scared. Do something when my wishes are being ignored or my body is being violated. Help me.

I listened. I heard them when they said childbirth was unpredictable, that nobody knew this would happen. I listened and I accept this. But I was still screaming in silence.

I wonder if anybody actually sat down afterwards to discuss what had happened? Did they listen to each other? Did they read back their notes and wonder if there was anything they could’ve done differently? Did they wish they had been somewhere else? In a room with a lady who knew what she was doing and a baby who wasn’t struggling and a team who were listening? Did they wish they had been on a different shift? One that didn’t have a lifeless body and a screaming void filled with fear?

Is anybody listening?


One response to “Is anybody listening?

  • The Boy and Me (@TheBoyandMe)

    I have wondered this. Did they realise they ballsed up with The Boy? Did they stop and think at any point about how big he was? The midwife knew he was high up in the birth canal because she’d had to reattach the heart monitor clip to his head a few times, why did they continue to make me push? Why didn’t they think, “Hang on his shoulder’s stuck, he’s a big boy, he’s really high up. We’ve prepped her for an emergency c-section, let’s just do it!”? Why didn’t they place the forceps properly? Did they sit down afterwards and point fingers and say, “We screwed up!”? Did they? WHy didn’t they? Because, that’s a teaching hospital, so why didn’t they learn from it?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: