And they said he would be sleeping by now…

Ok. So I have less than four weeks before my nights will once more be interrupted regularly by a small person needing milk. By this point I was promised- yes, promised-  that the toddler would be sleeping through the night, no problem. For a while, it all looked so good. Over Christmas he was, indeed, sleeping. So much so that we enjoyed a few nine o’clock lie ins. Bliss. But strange. Almost like the calm before the storm…

He is back to his best now. The toddler is no longer sleeping in. He’s no longer sleeping, in fact. Last night I was up with him again at 2.30 and he managed to self settle the rest of the times. Thing is, the walls in our house must be made of super thin parchment paper or something, because I heard every single toss and turn last night. And every call for mummy!

I know what the problem is. We moved his bedroom. He’s now in a big boy bedroom and although he goes to bed ok, I think its really affected him. I also know he will be ok. He’ll get used to it. Then I’m going to disappear for a couple of days and come home with a baby.

How will he react? The big one was five when he was born and her naturally easy going disposition posed no real problem. The toddler is different. He is still the baby. He is held. He is picked up. He is cuddled. He will still get these things, but so will the baby. He will have to compete for the attention he has always had first dibs to. That’s going to be a problem, right?

Nursery are being great. They have a special pack they’re going to send home, with baby dolls and books and accessories designed to prepare him for the new baby. We’re talking as much as we can about the baby but it just doesn’t seem to be sinking in. This morning he asked to sleep in the moses basket which has been set up in our room for want of somewhere else to put it. I explained it was for the baby, so he asked where this so-called baby was exactly. I told him it was in my tummy, to which he replied:

‘No mummy. Baby in there.’ and he pointed to my shoulder…

I won’t lie to you. I think we have our work cut out here. How do I get him to understand it all, when I am struggling myself? I don’t know myself how I am going to make him feel secure and loved and happy with a new baby attached to me at the same time. My mum assures me it will all work out, and I know it will. It’s just the getting to that point that concerns me.

In the meantime, for those of you who told me he would be sleeping by now- what have you got to say for yourselves now, eh?

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4 responses to “And they said he would be sleeping by now…

  • Ramblings Of A Suburban Mummy

    I hate to tell you that ‘they’ told me that C would be sleeping by the time LissyLou came along. ‘They’ too were wrong! C is nearly 3, he sleeps through 95% of the time now but when she was born he still got up in the night at least once. It was hard he always needed me when I was feeding or just as I had fallen asleep. I didn’t and don’t do anything differently I guess with time he has just grown out of it. I know that’s no comfort but all I can say is that some children just aren’t good sleepers and unfortunately we are just unlucky 😦

  • Alma

    Haha oh you poor thing! I don’t know who would tell you such a lie! My toddler is 3 & 1/2 and the only time in his life when he slept 12 straight hours was from when he was 4 months old until 1 year old. It was all downhill from there. Big change when we had our baby girl, who is now 10 months… she sleeps so much better than he does, and is so much more easy going. He is just difficult, moody, energetic, and requires very very little sleep. All I can do is give you my own mantra “this too shall pass”… and a bottle of wine helps. Oops, but you’ll have to wait for that one now… chamomile tea will have to do!! Good luck and just try to keep your head above water. It’s all about survival right now. Best wishes xxx

  • Liz Beavan

    Oh dear! It is lucky we love them so much isn’t it! There is 17 months between my two sons, I didn’t realise quite how lucky I was with ds1. He was sleeping through by 14 weeks old with the odd exception. He started cutting his molars at about 16 months which was perfect timing for lots of waking in the night just as I was heavily pregnant and badly in need of sleep! It didn’t take too long to get him sleeping well again though and he has been known to sleep as late as 9am some weekends which is a dream! A GroClock worked really well with him so may be worth a try for you?
    His brother couldn’t have been more different sleep wise, he was 9 months old before he slept through! I was at my wits end and had pretty much decided he was never going to sleep through and I was going to have to take out shares with Red Bull. He still regularly wakes in the night now and he is 2 and a half *yawn*.

    Despite all this we’re thinking about number 3 ….. !

    Good luck with your impending arrival and fingers crossed your toddler is perfectly happy with the new addition too. I made a big deal with my eldest about it being his new brother and that went down very well! Also when he first meets the new baby make sure you’re not holding it, that is supposed to help as his first impressions of the baby won’t be that it is taking his cuddles. x

  • Solveig

    Hello. I’m 4 months into having 3 children and was really worried about how my now middle child would react. He was 3 & 1/2 when the new baby arrived and he is quite a challenging child, and very, very attached to me – he wanted it to be me doing everything for him. But it has been fine so far – he loved his baby brother from the moment he saw him and has wanted to be very involved, which I have tried as much as possible to let him be. He has also become closer to his dad, letting him do more for him now which is great. But of course it can be hard – I still feel some guilt at how he is not ‘my baby’ anymore. Since our third arrived I’ve made an effort to read seperately to each of my other children at night so they feel that they still get some special time with me. But obviously that depends on either the baby being asleep or my husband getting home early enough! Anyway, good luck with it all! x

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