So yesterday I made the big revelation and last night I couldn’t sleep. There was no particular reason, I don’t think. Except that I couldn’t shake the feeling that things are a little vulnerable right now. Its like I’m hanging by a thread, waiting for the wind to blow me down.
I’ve been reminded lately how precarious life can be. How quickly we can have the things we long for snatched away for good. How quickly life’s pleasures can turn sour and all that hope and joy can disappear in a puff of smoke. How easily it can all be hanging by a thread.
These feelings have nothing to do with my previous experiences and I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. The early weeks of pregnancy can be so isolating. In the days when you haven’t told anyone but you feel so ill, so exposed and so bloated. Then all of a sudden, people know your secret and you’re out of the special bubble you had created to keep yourself protected. Is that when you become public property? When people know, it makes it so much easier to feel like things might not actually turn out the way you hoped they would.
I’d like to thank each and every one of you who either commented on here, Facebook or Twitter yesterday. Your well wishes mean the world to me and I have taken each message of support with a grateful heart. I know that last night’s insomnia was perhaps a blip in the proceedings, since today I am feeling stronger and more positive again. And it is dawning on me that I am having another baby! ohmygodohmygodohmygod I am having another baby!
ps, please feel free to ignore this post, the ramblngs of a hormonal woman…