While I was away, the toddler forgot how to sleep. He decided he would, instead, spend his nightime hours perfecting the art of being a monster.
While I was away, the toddler concocted an evil plan. He decided he would keep us ALL awake through the night. He decided we were all, obviously, getting too much sleep and it was his mission to save us.
While I was away, the toddler decided that the ideal plan of action should be the following:
1. scream loudly and suddenly on the stroke of midnight (or quarter to midnight for added impact)
2. demand a bottle but push it away once downstairs
3. scream loudly when parents (or grandparents) dare to suggest perhaps going back to bed
4. drink half a bottle as a token gesture
5. allow oneself to go back to bed with no fuss…
6. scream loudly every ten to fifteen minutes (timings depend on how long it takes parents to get back to sleep)
7. repeat the above ALL night
While I was away, the toddler developed a new game. I hope he’s not playing tonight.