I don’t buy them and only ever read them at the hairdressers, when I’ve forgotten to bring a book. Today, sadly, my book remained on the kitchen table, taunting me in my mind’s eye with all the intentions I had had to be entertained whilst they messed with my hair… So I’m one of those people who can’t just sit and do nothing. I’ve taken knitting to the hairdressers before. I have to do something and that something is usually reading. That’s how I ended up readng some celebrity gossip magazines today…
1. There is a man who lives in the UK who has a tattoo that reads “I Love Argos”. It has a love heart and the Argos logo.
2. There is a lady in the UK who has a phobia of baked beans.
3. There are some amazingly brave people out there: a lady who was forced into prositution at the age of 13, by her own father; Amanda Holden is back at work, rehearsing for Shrek the Musical, just seven weeks after delivering her stillborn son
4. There are some amazingly stupid people out there: Jordan has a new boyfriend; Peter Andre has finally realised that Jordan was a bad choice for wife; some guy had an I Love Argos tattoo…
5. There are some scarily dillusional celebs out there: Cherly Cole has apparently put on a little weight and is ‘loving’ her new curves. Oh yes, so much so that she is now thinking about trying the Dukan diet. She loves those curves so much because they give her an incentive to make the rest of us feel so goddamn fat when she decides that SHE needs to lose a little weight! According to ‘sources’ she always puts weight on her face first, so the Dukan diet is the only option for her. She thinks that she needs to lose 5lb from her face. FROM HER FACE.
Um, Cheryl. When a person loses weight, they lose it all over, usually not so much in their face. And also, FIVE pounds?! That’s a lot of weight actually. That’s a lot of weight to lose from your face and how on earth will she make sure it only goes from her face? I will be pondering this for a while. How will the queen of pop order her fat cells to march forth from her face and not from her hips? Or her bum/ bingo wings/ double chin? Ha ha.
The whole celebs and their diets really bugs me and is one of the main reasons why I don’t buy these magazines. I don’t want to know how quickly they manage to get back into their jeans after having a baby and I don’t want to read about how they don’t care how quickly they get back into their jeans after having a baby. They ALL care because they’re in the public eye and the public eye cares. That’s why Cheryl Cole feels the need to lose five pounds from her face. If she figures out how, I’ll eat my hat. But only because I’m worth it.