1. 6.30 is now considered a very reasonable lie-in. That’s 6.30 AM. Yes, AM.
2. It’s perfectly fine to go out on the school run in your pyjamas. As long as you wear a long hoody over the top, nobody will know. Sometimes its necessary anyway, if you don’t want a late mark on the big one’s school record.
3. The car seat is a perfectly fine place to sleep and if there was one big enough for me I would sleep in it too. Hell, grab your sleep where you can, when you can.
4. Going to the toilet can be a family event. The baby likes to barge in one everyone in the downstairs loo and the big one likes to clear the bathroom at very opportune moments indeed. Fine. Mummy doesn’t need privacy either, its fun to have little people observe you at all times of the day.
5. There is NO bottom to the washing basket and the sooner you realise that, the better. And while we’re on it- if they’re going to wear a jumper over the top, it doesn’t need ironning. Linen pants and combats don’t deserve the steam treatment either and if you expect pressed bedclothes you’ve come to the wrong guest house.
6. This isn’t a guest house. Yes, I love having people stay, but no- you won’t get a lie-in, you WILL be expected to entertain and you WILL have to clean up a little sick and go home with a little weetabix and/ or felt tip pen on your clothes. I live with a refluxer and a six year old so deal with it.
7. It’s perfectly fine to allow the big one to wear a tutu to do the grocery shop, even if it’s teamed with wellies and a rain coat. Choose your battles carefully.
8. If the baby wants to play with the cutlery drawer, fine. It’s no problem fishing spoons out of the bin and if it keeps him quiet… again, choose your battles carefully (but remove knives).