A diagnosis and a dilemma…

If I’d been holding my breath since my son was born, today I finally exhaled once and for all. After weeks of projectile vomiting and hours of sceaming in pain, my son was put on medication to ease his symptoms. At the age of thirteen weeks he was on 3 maximum doses of Domperidone, 3 maximum doses of Ranitidine and a dose of Omeprazole. We saw a cranial osteopath, we were referred to the peadiatrician and we were told he would grow out of it. Eventually, the vomiting began to decrease and the baby began to put weight on. He even started to follow a line on the growth chart which was amazing to see after he had been so poorly.

As we weaned him, my son began to have extreme reactions to certain foods- parsnips, cheese, yogurt, tomatoes. We were suddenly restricted with a baby who refused to eat after suffering so much pain. We were referred to a dietitian and the baby was prescribed lactose free milk. I’ve blogged about his eating. Its practially non-existent at fourteen months *but* it IS getting better. He’s starting to show an interest.

When my son was thirteen months old, they FINALLY agreed to do tests. After my poor baby screaming for hours following one bite of his own birthday cake, violently vomiting after eating a little grated cheese… after all the months of pain, anxiety, agony and fear. They stuck some needles in his little arms, requested some poo (nice!) and FINALLY finally we got the diagnosis.

My son is lactose intolerant. I can’t tell you the relief I’m feeling right now as we were so worried he would be coeliac. I think we wil cope with lactose intolerant, especially since most children grow out of it. But now I have a dilemma…

In September I have to return to work full time, unless I find work elsewhere. The consultant doesn’t want to see us again for anoher six months because the baby is doing so well. We’re hopeful he will be discharged. I’m thinking now that perhaps I CAN return to work full time. But I don’t NEED to. I don’t know what to do for the best. I love being with my son and I know that I am so lucky to be able to do it. But being a part time teacher is not easy and sharing a class is really difficult. I never thought I would be able to work full time again but now I’m not sure he needs me quite so much as I thought he did. He’s ok.

So I need to decide: do I return full time and make the most of the extra money at weekends and holidays, whilst at the same time getting my grip back on my job? Or do I strive to stay part time and thank my lucky stars that we can afford to do it while the children are young? What would you do?


19 responses to “A diagnosis and a dilemma…

  • Hannah

    Personally, if you know you can afford part time hours, I’d stick at part time. That’s what I do and I love it, because I don’t miss anything of Freyja growing up.

    When I look back, I can say how lucky I was at being able to be there and not having to work. Not all mummies can say that.

    Maybe that’s just me though x

  • mizmummytwoshoes

    Well, i’m probably not the best person to comment as i haven’t had my baby yet but i’m going to anyway. How soon do you need to make the decision? The fact you now h ave a diagnosis and a glimmer of hope then it might be an idea to see how he goes on with his new diet and then decide whether you can leave him and go back to your full time job being comfortable in the knowledge that your child is safe and eating?
    I think if i had the choice, i would either go back part time or i would stay at home full time if i didn’t need to work, but being in education myself, i totally get what you’re saying about class sharing…..nightmare! Good luck in whatever you decide x

    • ghostwritermummy

      Because I teach, we have until May half term to hand notice in and my school is making me go back full time in sept and there are no other part time jobs out there! I’m so lucky we can afford to be part time but I can’t find a part time teaching position. Still time yet I guess

  • waterbirthplease

    SO relieved for you hon. Finally got answers! And that blog made me want to give hime a big big cuddle! Is there no in between? 3 or 4 days? What what you’ve said in the past, I’ve got a feeling you wouldn’t be happy – even with the exta money, but maybe you could try it for a while. Such a tough decision, but so pleased you have results xxx

  • Lorraine Berry

    So pleased you have a diagnosis and can now get on with enjoying baby and baby can have a much happier time too! Difficult decision about work. I love my job, but I love my kids too. When I went back part time after my first baby I found it really hard to leave him. I had originally intended to go back three days, but in the end only returned on one day a week, and was then already pregnant with baby number two! After him went back on three days, to a lower grade and new place of work, which I have found really difficult. It is really hard to “fit in” to a new place of work on a part time basis, and I found it hard to work in the way that I felt my clients needed me to. Am on maternity leave with number three now and am seriously considering not going back, but am also working on my own business, which is giving me more flexibility to not only work how I want, but also to spend more time with my boys as they grow and to meet their needs. It is intensely personal decision, and I would be guided by your own instincts and needs xx

  • jaynecrammond

    I have to say, I agree with the others, I think you’d miss being a mummy if you went back full time. I’ve been SO fortunate to be able to stay at home with Ted, but I do like the fact that I’ve managed to fall into something that’s earningme a bit of moeny while at home. Are there any other options, tutoring or suchlike?

    Anyway, you never know, our budding internet empire may be making squillions for us by then, and you won’t have to work at all!

  • Shairbearg

    Well I went back to work full time after my 1 year maternity with my first, and only had to be back 9 months b/c I was pg again. I vowed never to leave another baby! I hated it, and I loved my job, and the people I worked with. I almost quit several times. My boss would look at me, and call me into her office in this desperate voice, and I would go in and she would tell me to sit and breath and hand me a box of kleenex. I would say you might want to try going back part-time b/c going back full time might be too hard. Oh and btw I really did think originally that I wouldn’t want to be a stay at home mom. It’s been almost 3 years, and I love it. Personally given the above choices I would do part time. Especially with how sick he has been you might want to keep an eye on him. Maybe try it for a year, and then go full time if it works out?

  • Heidi

    It’s difficult for me to comment as I’m fortunate enough to be at home all the time and I don’t need to work but if you feel that you can afford part time hours I would go with that. Best of both worlds. You get to work and spend time with your little one. They grow up so fast that you need to treasure every minute.

    Excellent news for you that you’ve finally got answers for your son. You must be so relieved after all that worry x

  • Renee

    Make the most of the time u have, as once it’s gone u can NEVER get it back, in 40 months time or so he will be in school full time and u can go back to work without regret that u r missing out on him growing up. Money is a motivator but working full-time with 2 kids, (having been there),it’s not easy and u miss so many memories and milestones. It’s a regret I have always held, which is why this time round I opted to stay at home.

  • Honest Mum

    This is a really tough one, as a freelancer I’m very lucky that I work intensely then I’m at home before the next commission. Is there a way you could trial full time teaching. When I taught part time it felt full time with all the prep so if you are happy and can afford it a few days work then a few days with your boy sounds like balance. Only you know what feels right.

  • Honest Mum

    Also meant to write great you have answers too x

  • Expat Mum

    As the mother of two kids with big lactose problems, it barely had an impact once we figured everything out. I would say, you treat him as normal (because he is) and do what you wanted to do before the problems. It’s not like he has limited time on this earth – if you can find part-time work, and that is want you want, go for it. But if you find that you want to work, and the full-time is the only option, that’s OK too.

    • ghostwritermummy

      You’re right. Now we know what we’re dealing with I have no issues at all about his health. I just wish their were more part time teaching job available and that I could have the best of both worlds!

  • Alyson

    I’m relieved you got the diagnosis, I’m in a similar position with my husband at the mo and the waiting is KILLING me, for me, I would stay part time but I’m not walking in your shoes and don’t know what you need. Either ways your making the right decision for your family

  • ella

    No advice for you just glad you got a diagnosis xx

  • Kate

    Tough one. I would always stay at home as much as possible but I don’t live your life or do your job.

  • Li-ling Ooi

    Glad to hear you’ve got answers for your babe.
    WRT the full-time vs. parti-time question, my thoughts are that, do the full-time if that is your only option, but keep in mind that change is always a choice you can make, further down the line.
    I do’nt know how part-time teaching goes, but in a lot of part-time roles, one seems to end up doing MORE than part-time work for part time pay.
    Whatever you decide, i hope it all goes well.

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