I love Katetakes5‘s Listography. I love writing it and I love reading the other entries, but this week the topic has really got me thinking… too much. This week we are to write about five things we wish we could do. SO. Do I do a funny post? A sad post? A musing-type post? After the day I’ve had, do I do a frustrated post? Hmmm. I guess I’ll just do an honest post.
My Top 5 things I Wish I Could Do
1. Talk to my dad. I think its his birthday tomorrow. I think that is why I’ve been thinking I would like to talk to him. I’d like to ask him why he has chosen to distance himself from his three children, why he has repeatedly thrown away chances to know his daughters, his grandaughters and now his grandsons. I would like a little closure on that one I think. Oh, and I’d like to do it without feeling scared, or afraid of what he might say and what I might say. I would also like to do it without poking him in his eyes a little bit.
2. Stand up for myself more. Some things in my life may have been so different if I had done this.
3. Go back and say sorry to someone; they never had a chance and it wasn’t their fault. Tell them I think about them and I will never forget them. Tell them I’m sorry.
4. Stop thinking I am failing at stuff and start having confidence in myself more. I think I’m part way there on this one. I used to think I was really good at being a mum and then this baby came along and I changed my mind. Days like today make me think that maybe I never was good at this… I know tomorrow may be different. Tomorrow I might be a good mum again.
5. Go back to the early days after the baby was born and give myself a sharp slap. It might’ve knocked me out of it a bit. Love my baby straight away. Want him immediately. Go back to the hospital, the visitors, the cards and the presents. Go back and be happy that he was there.
I never meant for my list to be so serious! have a look at the other entries this week and cheer yourself up!